


The Love Bandit

by tustin2121



Series: Tustin2121's Pride Tales Anthology [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Animal Transformation, Boyfriends, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Inspired by an OSP Video, M/M, Random & Short, Short One Shot, Slice of Life, Tags Contain Spoilers, written in like three hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27771598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tustin2121/pseuds/tustin2121
Summary: Maybe the prospect of coming out to his family would be easier if Jonas had a more normal boyfriend...
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Tustin2121's Pride Tales Anthology [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105298
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	The Love Bandit

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired randomly by this youtube video by OSProductions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS62iRXBeJc

“Okay, yes, I get it,” Jonas’s mother said, putting down the cutting board a little harder than intended, “What is your obsession with fairy tales about animal brides all of a sudden?” 

“I dunno,” Jonas replied, eyes averted, his hand rubbing the nape of his neck, “I just thought they were a neat concept.” 

“You must have dug up a dozen or more stories over the past week,” his mother prattled on, turning to tend to the food on the stove. “Are you trying to tell me something? That you’re gonna come home with a beautiful swan wife in one arm and the feathery cloak you stole from her in the other?” 

“No, I just—“ Jonas heaved a sigh, “Never mind. I’ve got some more studying to do…” 

“Dinner will be ready in 40 minutes,” she said to his retreating back. 

He meandered down the hall to his bedroom in the very back of the house. He opened the door and was only mildly surprised to see a scared-looking guy on his bed, half-turned over like he was about to bolt. He closed the door before either of them spoke. 

“Ollie, please?” Jonas sighed, exasperated, as a means of greeting, "How many times have I told you not to eat in my bed?" 

“You could have warned me it was you,” Oliver glowered in response, dropping the open bag of Cheetos on the floor, “I nearly jumped out of my skin.” 

“Which is why you shouldn’t be sneaking in like this…” Jonas said, “You might get caught.” 

“Oh, come on…” Oliver said in a seductive tone as he slid out of bed and approached Jonas, “You know you love this.” Oliver, almost two heads shorter than Jonas’s six-foot stature, slumped up against his chest and fingered his collar with two middle fingers. 

Jonas leaned down and kissed Oliver’s ready lips for a few seconds. He broke off with a heavy, “I know…” before slumping into his small desk chair. Oliver was nigh-immediately on his lap. Jonas fingered the collar of the shirt Oliver was wearing. “Why this shirt?” He asked, looking at the faded lettering on the old tee shirt, overlarge on Oliver. His hand meandered over Oliver’s chest as if it had a mind of its own. 

“You said you didn’t like this shirt,” Oliver replied thoughtfully, “after what I did accidentally to your other ones, I figured…” 

“Right, right,” Jonas said grimly, turning away from Oliver and to his computer, though his off hand freely groped across Oliver’s backside, sliding down into the waistband of the faded jeans he wore... 

“Still doing research then?” Oliver commented, staring at Jonas’s computer as he closed down tab after tab on his browser, “You know I’m one of a kind, right?” 

“You are not,” Jonas smirked, “You said yourself your whole family on your mother’s side is like you.” 

“Well, yeah, but… the tradition of wooing men has long been the _women’s_ role in the family,” Oliver grinned, taking Jonas’s chin in one hand and pulling it towards him. Oliver kisses Jonas again, once, twice, and grins into his lips. 

“Yeah, well…” Jonas began into Oliver’s smile, when suddenly there was a knock at the door. 

Oliver vaulted out of Jonas’s lap, thumping hard on the floor, as Jonas spun to look at the door and banged his knee against his desk. “GAH!! F*CK!!” 

The door opened abruptly, his mother shouting, “Are you alright?! What’d you do?!” 

“Dammit, mom, I need a better desk!” Jonas winced in anger and pain, tossing the empty pair of jeans that laid in his lap to the floor, gasping loudly in pain, “I’m not a kid anymore, I’m nearly out of college, and I’ve still only got this kid’s desk to work at right now… I constantly bang my knees against it!” 

“I’m sorry,” Jonas’s mother said, wringing her hands in her apron, “Maybe we can get you something for graduation?” 

Jonas cringed in pain a bit longer, “What did you want?” 

“Oh, right,” his mother said, snapping out of her thoughts, “What sort of vegetable are you in the mood for? Broccoli, peas, green beans?” 

“Broccoli’s fine,” Jonas grimaced. 

“Do you want me to get you some ice?” She indicated his knee. 

“I’ll be fine, I just need a few minutes.” 

“Okay,” his mother said, turning and walking back down the hall to the kitchen. 

Jonas breathed deeply, got up, hobbled to the door, and closed and locked it. He turned back to the empty pair of jeans on the floor on the opposite side of his bed, the same pair Oliver had been wearing moments before. He hobbled over to the far side of the bed and looked down at the floor, where, as he expected, the tee shirt Oliver had been wearing was also on the floor. Also as he predicted, the shirt was now damaged, the start of several gashes from claw marks around the chest and neck of the shirt. 

Gingerly, Jonas knelt down and peered under the bed at the furry mass that shivered in the darkness. “Can you really not do anything about those claws?” He asked the thing, reaching an arm under the bed towards it, “This is like the third shirt you’ve poked holes in, now?” 

Out from under the bed, a raccoon crawled out cautiously, quietly, peering around. Jonas sat up and sighed at it knowingly. The fuzzy animal reared up on its hind legs and peered over the bed at the door, glancing between it and Jonas. 

“I locked it this time,” Jonas said in response. 

The raccoon dropped down onto its hindquarters and, in the next moment, a stark-naked Oliver sat resolutely with his arms folded where the raccoon had been. “Why don’t you lock it every time you come into your room?” 

“Habit,” Jonas said, wincing as he got off the floor and onto the edge of the bed, “I’m too used to college where I don’t have anything to hide.” 

“So you _haven’t_ come out to them yet then,” Oliver glowered. 

“What are you, my conscious?” Jonas snapped. 

“Why are you trying to explain to her that you have a raccoon for a boyfriend?” Oliver spat, “Start with the fact that _you have a boyfriend!_ ” 

“Look,” Jonas snarled, averting his eyes from Oliver, “I figured I’d start with the most outlandish thing first. You know, that whole ‘hit them with something insane, so that they’ll accept the less insane true thing after’ strategy?” 

“That’s not a thing,” Oliver said, bewildered, as he pawed his shirt towards him. 

“It totally is.” 

“Also,” Oliver continued, crawling his way back into the shirt, "wouldn’t that require the more insane thing to _NOT_ be true?” 

“Details,” Jonas scoffed, examining his shoes. 

Oliver glared at Jonas for a moment, before grabbing his bag of Cheetos from floor nearby and resuming his eating. 

Jonas turned to look at Oliver — in only an overlarge shirt, eating from his junk food bag in a huff — and couldn't help but smirk at how cute he looked. “Where’d you get that one?” He nodded at the Cheetos bag. 

“Not the trash this time,” Oliver replied snootily, “One of your neighbor left it out.” 

Jonas snorted, staring at him for a few more moments. Then, overcome with something, he moved smoothly off the bed and bodily lifted the boy off the floor and plopped him down onto the bed, the bed springs creaking in protest. Oliver landed on his back and smirked up at Jonas as the bigger man straddled him, on his hands and knees, dominating over him. 

“When are you going to eat real food?” Jonas said as he, with one hand, pulled the bag out of Oliver’s hand and dropped it to the floor again. 

“Maybe,” Oliver said seductively, getting excited, “when I actually get invited to dinner… as your _boyfriend…?_ ” 

“Mmm,” Jonas said, leaning in and kissing him, “fair enough.” Jonas’s hand explored its way down Oliver’s chest and to his thigh, finding its way slowly to— 

“Boys!” Jonas’s mother called from down the hall, and Jonas’s head and hand jerked away involuntarily, “Dinner’s almost ready! Come set the table please?” 

Oliver’s eyebrows drooped. “Why you gotta do this to me? Tease me like this?” Oliver grunted despondently. 

“Tonight,” Jonas whispered, “After sunset.” 

Oliver rolled his eyes. “No, you gotta tell them _tonight_. About you at least, if not about us. I _will_ come next time smelling like trash if you don’t. I will roll _all up_ in that stuff." 

Jonas sat up, his nose crinkled either from the thought of the smell or the prospect of the deed. “Fine, I’ll do it tonight…” 

Jonas looked back to see a raccoon wiggling out of his tee shirt. Oliver reached with his whole body down off the bed and grabbed the bag of Cheetos from the floor, before deftly rolling the bag up with his paws and sticking it in his teeth. Jonas picked his boyfriend up and hefted him up onto his shoulder, where Oliver precariously balanced, a paw against Jonas’s head for support. Jonas moved over to the dresser, and Oliver climbed up onto it and through the hidden hole in the wall and up into the attic of the house. 

“Com’on, Jonas! We gotta set the table!” He heard his brother call through the door. 

Jonas groaned, dusting himself off and going over the lines in his head. Just pretend he’s a normal boyfriend. It’ll be a lot easier to accept a normal boyfriend over an animal boyfriend? Maybe all that talk about animal brides was a mistake… would they even suspect? There’s only one way to find out...


End file.
